I'm a sex addict
Or at least I think I am. I watched that documentary the other night that Ulrika did on Channel 4, and to be honest, a lot of what was said, hit a note with me. There's no denying that I like sex. In fact, I like it a lot. And if I'm completely honest, I want it more than I'm getting it right now.
When I met the Mrs I thought I'd finally found some one who liked sex as much as I did. But for various reasons, (and it's not really fair of me to go into those details right now), we now don't have sex as often as I desire.
My problem is that I feel rejected when I don't get the sex I want. That's not to say I'm overly demanding, and according to Ulrika, sex addiction is not all about having to have really dirty sex 20 times a day. But for whatever reason, I can't cope with the rejection of not having sex when the Mrs simply doesn't feel like it. She's not rude about it, and she doesn't have to physically fight me off or anything (I'm not that demanding...), and I know I really shouldn't take it to heart like I do. I just can't help it though; Things have clearly happened that make me feel that way.
Even before I had my first encounter with a woman (the Mrs), way back when I was still deciding if I might actually be gay, I used to think about lesbian sex an awful lot. What would it be like? How would it actually feel touching a woman? How would I know what to do? Was I doing it right? Would she like it? And so on. So, even before I took that first momentous step with the Mrs, I guess I'd already made it into a big issue in my mind. I'd already decided that it was going to be on my terms & I wasn't going to be rushed into anything, and luckily for me, the Mrs was prepared to wait until I felt completely ready. OK, she didn't have to wait that long, but the thought was definitely there, and she never would have put any pressure on me.
So after we had sex, I wanted more. It was great! Lesbian sex is the bestest ever, so how could I not want more?! And now, even though we've been together for over a year, I still feel I'm in the first joys of a new relationship. I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel that way, but I certainly do, and I'm glad I still feel that way. My heart beats faster when I see her, I long to touch her, and I just want to make her happy.
The Mrs has certainly accused me of being obsessed with sex in the past, and perhaps to a certain extent I am. But why doesn't she realise that it's still reasonably new to me, while she's had many a year to enjoy it (I'm not saying she's ancient or anything). And more importantly, after watching Ulrika, I've found that it's not just a case of liking sex a lot, there's clearly more to it, because why do I feel such rejection when she simply doesn't want to have sex?
I'm not sure what the answer is, and maybe she doesn't either. I'd just like to think that we can get an even better understanding of each other.
When I met the Mrs I thought I'd finally found some one who liked sex as much as I did. But for various reasons, (and it's not really fair of me to go into those details right now), we now don't have sex as often as I desire.
My problem is that I feel rejected when I don't get the sex I want. That's not to say I'm overly demanding, and according to Ulrika, sex addiction is not all about having to have really dirty sex 20 times a day. But for whatever reason, I can't cope with the rejection of not having sex when the Mrs simply doesn't feel like it. She's not rude about it, and she doesn't have to physically fight me off or anything (I'm not that demanding...), and I know I really shouldn't take it to heart like I do. I just can't help it though; Things have clearly happened that make me feel that way.
Even before I had my first encounter with a woman (the Mrs), way back when I was still deciding if I might actually be gay, I used to think about lesbian sex an awful lot. What would it be like? How would it actually feel touching a woman? How would I know what to do? Was I doing it right? Would she like it? And so on. So, even before I took that first momentous step with the Mrs, I guess I'd already made it into a big issue in my mind. I'd already decided that it was going to be on my terms & I wasn't going to be rushed into anything, and luckily for me, the Mrs was prepared to wait until I felt completely ready. OK, she didn't have to wait that long, but the thought was definitely there, and she never would have put any pressure on me.
So after we had sex, I wanted more. It was great! Lesbian sex is the bestest ever, so how could I not want more?! And now, even though we've been together for over a year, I still feel I'm in the first joys of a new relationship. I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel that way, but I certainly do, and I'm glad I still feel that way. My heart beats faster when I see her, I long to touch her, and I just want to make her happy.
The Mrs has certainly accused me of being obsessed with sex in the past, and perhaps to a certain extent I am. But why doesn't she realise that it's still reasonably new to me, while she's had many a year to enjoy it (I'm not saying she's ancient or anything). And more importantly, after watching Ulrika, I've found that it's not just a case of liking sex a lot, there's clearly more to it, because why do I feel such rejection when she simply doesn't want to have sex?
I'm not sure what the answer is, and maybe she doesn't either. I'd just like to think that we can get an even better understanding of each other.
My mate Ulrika Jonsson
